On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."

And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."

So God agreed (*sigh*).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span." Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

And God agreed again (...???...)

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So, that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

General Information

The North West Coast Branch is one of four branches covering the state. We cover the demographic area from Deloraine to Smithton to Queenstown. The Branch was set up in April 2002 with 32 members present and has grown steadily to over 200 since. We are blessed with some of the best motorcycling roads in the world let alone Australia and have a very temperate climate which means riding all year round with many of our rides in conjunction with neighbouring Branches.


Rides are usually held every Sunday. Refer to Ride Calendar. Midweek rides are run weekly from Otto’s Grotto Bbq area car park (Dial St, Ulverstone) on a Wednesday, departing 11am.

Rides heading east of Ulverstone will depart from the BP service station at the Devonport Homemaker centre, at 10 am.

Rides heading west of Ulverstone will depart from Burnie McDonalds car park at 10 am.

Any changes to the Ride Calendar ring the appropriate Ride Captain for details or check the web site.


Gold coin collections will be taken at the beginning of each ride for our chosen charity, the ULYSSES CLUB ARTHRITIS RESEARCH FUND.


Any lady or gentleman who is over the age of 40, and who holds a current motorcycle licence, OR who is a regular partner of such a person, and over 40, is eligible to join. Until you reach the grand old of 50, you will be a “junior” member, but with full membership rights and privileges. It’s just that you might have to help some of the “seniors” off their machines sometimes.

There is a joining fee of $30.00 and a mandatory 3 year membership a total of $140. This we feel gives a considerable incentive to long-term survival.

***PLEASE NOTE*** Initial membership may be less than three (3) full years; depending on the month you join.

How to join... Go to the national site at (you can use the link below), hit the join button and complete the details.

***NOTE***. When membership confirmation is received please contact Ian Grant on 64270090 or Mob:0400190533 with your membership number,phone number, name & address (including email address if you have one) so you can be placed on the mailing list for future postouts, ride calendars etc.